Man Buys Gift for Himself, Scores Big with Wife on Mother’s Day

(No, not golf clubs.)

Listen up, guys. Want to score big points with the Goddess who bore your children (knowing full well that you’ll never in a hundred years make it up to her for seventeen hours of labour, dammit!) when Mother’s Day rolls around?

Instead of running madly through the mall at the last minute, grabbing a thumb-printed Mother’s Day card —

(and you know you’ll never in a hundred year make it up to her for seventeen hours of labour, dammit!)

Do plan ahead
(allowing 2 weeks for delivery) —

Order up a fine jersey T-shirt for yourself from the women who know a thing or two about keeping the heat in a long-term relationship.

Put it on, take your beloved for a romantic stroll (preferably in a crowded public place), and walk tall and proud.

You’ll be golden.