geek noun esp. N. Amer. informal 1. An uninteresting, ineffectual, socially inept person; a nerd. 2. A person thoroughly devoted to one usu. technical interest, study, etc., often at the expense of social interaction (computer geek).

Whatever.

Point is, the 1970s chicken-beheading freak is not at all what I have in mind here (try wikipedia, maybe) when I say that 80% of the most fabulous men I’ve ever known were geeks.

Other top contenders leaned towards the arts or construction trades, but that’s a shaggy-dog story for another place and time.

Geeks? You may well ask, O-mouthed with shock and doubt — geeks are sexy?

Absolutely.

Consider the facts.

To begin with, and on the most facile level, all those years of hunkering down with twelve-sided dice or closeted with computers, far from the damaging sun, means that adult geeks — those mercifully past the curse of teen acne — have the softest, most touchable skin any woman would envy. (If our own complexions are showing the effect of too much quality time at the beach, second-best is to be able to enjoy someone else’s baby-smooth skin, am I right? Tactile enjoyment. It goes a long way to explain why you can still find clothing made of velour.)

Secondly, as oodles of experts on women’s mating preferences will attest, intelligence is pretty darned sexy. And the defining characteristic of the geek is, of course, intelligence.

True, as my dictionary points out, the geeks among us are often behind-hand in developing the social savoire-faire of other types of men — but is that necessarily a bad thing? Many have evolved over time to compensate with a quick wit (sexy), attentive listening skills (very sexy), and a keen if transient interest in absolutely everything (also sexy) including what the woman he’s with is thinking (devastatingly sexy)!

To all their other fine attributes, add the fact that many high-functioning adult geeks have a significant potential for long-term rewarding employment. Let’s be practical: a steady income is not a bad attribute.

Fashion sense? — Ah, that’s nothing. That can be bought — or learned. Geeks love to learn new things and problem-solve, of course. It just all depends on what they consider the most urgent (or intriguing) topic to get their undivided attention at any given moment…

And if you’re lucky, sister, that undivided attention could be on you!

Fact is, geeks are fairly unlikely to have spent their teen years mingling with perky cheerleaders and sinful intent. As a result, the young geek reaches his maturity without an inflated BMOC ego — in fact, without too much at all in the way of annoying habits trained into him by Barbie and Tiffany girlfriends in his formative years.

Moving out into the working world, where his skills and qualities are more widely appreciated, the geek gains a quiet confidence. He begins to come into his own — yet retains a deep appreciation of his female companions that is seldom seen in other subgroups of the modern male.

Geeks don’t take women for granted: they pay attention.
And that, my friends, is the bottom line for any relationship.

I rest my case.

Rebuttal, anyone?
Comments?
David Krumholtz’s private phone number?

If they ever bring West Wing back on the air, which you know isn’t going to happen — but I’m just saying, IF… it’ll need a bit of an update. According to Mary Clingman, director of the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, the virtual turkey guru is spreading its greasy little wings to help even more poultry-challenged holiday cooks:

This holiday season, the advice Americans have trusted for years is even more accessible with turkey tips, reminders and alerts sent straight to your mobile phone, a new mobile Web site, Web chats on Butterball.com, or live expert advice at 1-800-BUTTERBALL…

The next Butterball Web chat goes live on November 25 from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Central. I’m almost tempted to pull a President Bartlet…

This little guy, from the Sock Monkey Jungle of Lancashire, UK, channels Elton John at his most groovy, complete with over-sized sunglasses and a star-spangled red-striped outfit you wouldn’t have been caught dead in even in the depth of Disco Days. (The slouchy newsboy cap? Maybe.)

A self-described “sock monkey addict,” crafter Blue Saphire makes a wide range of unique sock monkey characters — from amusing rips of Batman, Rocky, and even Santa Claus — to girly-girl monkeys with fancy party frocks and long flowing hair. And I spotted a Bride and Groom couple, which seems to me just about the perfect wedding gift — way better than giving the newlyweds yet another waffle iron!

Gift certificates, sock monkey kits and patterns, even sock monkey notecards, as well as the cuddly critters themselves, can be found at bluesaphire.etsy.com.

Sensible!

Especially if the kiddy’s wished-for bedroom decor is based on the latest from Disney or Pixar or whatever video game is hot in the school yard this week…

What to do?
Well, here’s one incredibly frugal solution to that decorating dilemma…

Block Posters lets you send any image from your computer (up to 1 MB size file), slice it up, print it out, and turn it into a giant wall poster — free!

Check the gallery of other people’s posters (like the lovely Nemo wall art that Phil made for his young daughter’s bedroom) for inspiring ideas like these:

• Leave the white edges of the paper on for a cool tile mosaic effect;
• Decoupage the pieces onto a room divider screen;
• Frame each paper tile separately in black and hang them really close together to look like a piece of stained glass;
• Go black-and-white or monchrome for an high-toned artsy look;
• Blow up a smaller image for a cool blocky pixelated effect (turn a nature shot into modern camouflage, anyone?);
• Posterize yourself!

Okay, maybe your children don’t really want your face looming down at them from the wall above their beds while they’re sleeping at night… but you could do a nice family portrait, or a favourite pop star, or a role-model athlete, or even a screenshot from a favourite game…

Your imagination is the only limit!

Or, to be factual, about 8 feet x 10 feet is the limit, finished poster size-wise.
But you don’t really need a larger poster than that, do you? Unless you’re making a mural to decorate a great room… hmm….

But like the brave red poppies of Flanders fields and Remembrance wreaths, those bright red sparks against the grey of rainclouds and gravestones, there’s something indomitably bright in the human spirit. And as long as we can see those poppies bud and bloom — in the fields of Normandy, or in fields of hope and imagination — surely, all is not lost.

Photo: amandabhslater

Pumpkin Panini and Apple-Seitan Sandwich

Despite the fact it signals the end of the growing season, Fall is the time for one last culinary celebration. Gone are the spring vegetables, the tomatoes, and the peaches. Still, every autumn, the Earth erupts forth in a great bounty of fruits and vegetables in such great quantities that the ground must know it will produce nothing for the next five or six months.

Okay, that might be a little overly dramatic, but how else can you explain the flood of apples, cranberries, pumpkins, squash, and other gourds that invade grocery stores across the country every October? The problem, though, is that most of Fall foods are usually thought of as desert (pumpkin pie) or are much maligned (cranberry “sauce” from a tin can.) Even the most inventive thing done with the mighty apple tends to be chopping it up and throwing it into a salad.

Photo: jslander

That all changes today. Today, we are going to elevate Fall fare into the fantastic. We are going to make sandwiches! (And they’re going to be veg friendly, too.)

Pumpkin Panini

Pumpkin is a nutritious vegetable that really does not get the credit it deserves as a savory ingredient. When roasted it has a satisfying, meaty flesh that has a subtle earthy flavor and is not nearly as sweet as you might think. This particular sandwich is paired with good mozzarella cheese, sun dried tomatoes, and basil for a pumpkiny twist on an Italian favorite.

• 1 small sugar pie pumpkin or about a pound of regular pumpkin
• 6 tablespoons olive oil
• 16 sundried tomatoes
• 12 basil leaves
• 1 loaf of vegan bread, cut into half inch slices
• 4 tablespoons of vegenaise or mayonnaise
• 1 medium tomato, sliced thinly
• 1 cup of shredded mozzarella (vegan or regular)

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees.

Prepare the Pumpkin

Wash the outside of the pumpkin thoroughly and pat dry. Cut into quarters and remove the seeds and stem. Coat with 3 tablespoons of olive oil and season lightly with salt and pepper.

Bake the pumpkin for forty minutes or until fork tender. Remove and set aside to cool. Once cool, cut into thin slices roughly the same width as the tomato. You may choose to remove the pumpkin’s peel or leave it on as you choose.

Make the Spread

As the pumpkin is roasting, prepare the sun dried tomato mix. The idea is to have a chunky spread, not a sauce. To make it, put the sun dried tomatoes, two tablespoons of the tomatoes’ oil, and the basil into a food processor and pulse. Add the olive oil one tablespoon at a time until it reaches a consistency you like.

Make the Panini

Construct the sandwiches by taking a slice of bread and spreading a tablespoon of vegenaise on one side and a quarter of the shredded cheese on the other. Starting this way will help to water proof the bread for the cooking ahead.

Stack the pumpkin, one-quarter of the sun dried tomato spread, and two slices of tomatoes on the cheese side in that order. Sprinkle a little kosher salt on the tomato and top with the other slice of bread.

Finally, to make this a panini, pull out a skillet and coat in a bit of your favorite nonstick cooking spray or olive oil. When the pan gets hot, put two sandwiches on it and press them with a second skillet or a cookie sheet weighted down with cans. Cook this way for two minutes, then flip sandwiches and cook them weighted down for two more minutes. If the mozzarella is not fully melted, put the sandwich in the oven for a few minutes.

Serve with pumpkin bisque for an awesome pumpkin meal.

Apple/Seitan Sandwiches

Photo: mharvey75

Many years ago, before I stopped eating meat, my friend V introduced me to this sandwich, which she made using good mild summer sausage. I have changed it to use seitan, my favorite of the vegan “faux meat” products.

• 1 package store bought seitan
• 2 tablespoons sausage spice mix or 1 tablespoon each of black pepper and thyme and a pinch of red chili flake
• ½ cup of Dijon mustard
• ½ cup of apple cider vinegar
• Hard rolls or French bread cut into quarter inch slices
• 1 apple, cut into long slices
• 4 slices Swiss cheese (vegans: use vegan parmesan)

The first thing to do is change the flavor profile of the seitan slightly. Because seitan is an Asian dish, it is normally flavored with soy sauce, but that flavor can be lessened by boiling the seitan. Also, boiling tends to soften seitan and make it easier to chew.

To do this, bring a pot of water to boil. Use water, not broth, but flavor the water with sausage spice mix. Boil the seitan for about 5 minutes. Take it out of the water and bring back to room temperature.

While the seitan is cooling, mix the mustard and the cider vinegar in a bowl with a whisk.

Construct the sandwiches by covering the bottom of a roll or a piece of bread with seitan and adding a piece of cheese, a few slices of apple, and topping with the mustard/vinegar mix.

For more of what is going in Chris’ lunchbox, on his dinner table, and on his party menus, as well as thoughts on food and culture, food in the media, and even the occasional recipe featuring meat, check out Chris’ food blog, Blog Well Done.

Here’s the story:

Sara knitted a turkey hat for her little guy, 2 years ago, when he was just a wee newborn. Okay, we can figure that the stress of the holiday season and childbirth and a baby in the NICU and all…

“I may have been slightly unhinged at that point,” she says.
Granted.

So last year, did she knit little Isaac a sleek toque or a jaunty newboy cap?

Mais, non! It was the Thanksgiving turkey all over again, one size larger and in a different brand of yarn for a whiter, brighter tip of the drumstick… And now you can knit one of your very own! Sara’s offering her original Jive Turkey Baby Hat pattern — free — over at Going Crafty.

Guess the tag line of her blog:

Hahahahaha!
I love it.

Going Crafty seems to be taking a nap right now, but the weird turkey craft thing is working its magic on me…

Oh, I’m not going to size up the pattern and knit myself a chapeau avec drumsticks for the holiday season, but doesn’t it make you wonder what other wild and whimsical turkey-inspired crafts are begging to be discovered?

p.s. Are we amazed that baby Isaac, now one of the world’s most interesting toddlers, is “very anti-hat”? Even when dressed up as a porcupine? Go figure.

How To Get Rich With Twitter

There are hundreds of blogs that start up every day with the dream of making money online by kicking back on a beach and letting the green roll in. They are inspired by such success stories as Chris Garrett, Darren Rowse and Jeremy Shoemaker, all of whom make a comfortable online living from their blogs. Of course, it’s only a dream for those hundreds of hopefuls, as it really is hard work to get to the level of earning more than a pittance from your blog. And they are laden with Google adsense ads, have no original content, and are really spammy blogs.

And then there’s Jen, our very own Domestik Goddess.

Online Betting Moves To Twitter

One day, Jen (aka @rjleaman on Twitter) tweets about an interesting post she found on Squawkfox entitled Recipe: Strawberry and Banana Green Smoothie. I think I will just switch to our conversation from that point. I’m @lighthousenews in this conversation.

@rjleaman: Reading: http://tinyurl.com/6s7t9e Spinach in fruit smoothie - who’s up to try it?
@lighthousenews: Ewwwwwww. Sorry, but my taste buds say no to this one!
@rjleaman: what’ll you offer for me to try green smoothie for you? (I get to add cup o’ honey, right?)
@lighthousenews: I will bet $10 (virtual) that you won’t do it. But NO honey. As is only. Yuk.
@rjleaman: You’re on!
@lighthousenews: I want video proof. And at least 3 handfuls of spinach! And don’t forget the kale. NO honey!!!
@rjleaman: no video camera, but I’ve taken a pic - knew you’d demand proof! Greens no honey, check: had to snag last banana from HWHTPT
@lighthousenews: Pic of you sipping it. Facial expression included. Then I need your paypal address to pay up (willingly).
@lighthousenews: P.S. Did you at least get a strawberry in it? *G*
@rjleaman: Fortunately, yes, did have the 3 frozen strawberries called for in the recipe. Followed it faithfully (but not bonus stuff)
@rjleaman: http://twitpic.com/iy89 - @squawkfox calls this “Green Smoothie” but I’m calling it “Frog in a Blender” - and may drink one again sometime!
@lighthousenews: DM me your paypal address. I guess I lost. You are one brave woman! LOL!

Getting Healthy and Getting Rich

Multiply this by all your followers on Twitter and you can make a healthy living from this very creative online money making scheme. And a side benefit to it is the health benefits for your body. That is, unless you end up looking like Popeye®. On second thought, that might not be a bad idea:

Sue Clark has been interested in lighthouses since she was a little girl living on the Great Lakes of Michigan, and even more so after moving to Maine. She is a charter member of the Maine Lighthouse Museum, a docent and former secretary of the Friends of Pemaquid Point Lighthouse — where she was married in 2000 — and a member of the American Lighthouse Foundation. Sue blogs about her passion at Haunted Lighthouses and Lighthouse News.

… to revisit the Crazy Quilting style and share our results. We are asking questions about technique and rules and style using the traditional Crazy Quilt framework as a jumping off point.

There’s a pledge to keep an open mind and to challenge each other to new heights of creativity, and a Flickr group to share the results of “what-if” in every colour of the rainbow and every technique you might imagine. It’s textile art, and cooperative creativity that goes to the heart of the quilting tradition — in a very nontraditional way!

And she’s turning the inspirations of nature into jewellery, twisting wire around beautiful stones and pearls and beads to create striking bracelets, necklaces, earrings.

You can find them for sale on Etsy and get a peek at projects in progress at Jackie’s blog, A Keeper’s Jackpot.

Like most beaders — like most craftspeople, in fact — once Jackie started creating her own jewellery and found that others love the pieces too, she starting exploring new ideas and new materials. From basic beads, she went to wire and stone, then branched out into working with polymer clay, and now she exploring decoupage techniques on some of her pendants…

But you know what? It’s the stone necklaces that really get me.

And I’m not even going to try to explain the emotion effect, the thought process, the “how come” of why I was so immediately taken with Jackie’s work, when her mother-in-law told me about her — I’ll just let the jewellery speak for itself:

So, you never touched a drop of vile alcohol last night — and sure, I believe you! — but still, this morning, somehow, you woke up looking and feeling like something Shrek barfed up?

Let’s review what went wrong, shall we?

Too much sugar!

For many of us, last night we experienced the North American cultural phenomenon known as the Halloween fancy-dress candy binge…

If you’re not reading this on November 1st, maybe you can’t blame Halloween — but do a quick memory check: was there a sugar binge in there somewhere? Maybe your night involved a box of chocolates and a chick flick indulgence. Maybe it was an awesome dessert buffet table that called your name once too often. Maybe it was a box of donuts just sitting there, calling your name, on a side table in a dull meeting.

Whatever.

The point is, too much sugar goes into your system — buzzz!! you’re revving on all four cylinders, fast and productive and jazzed with energy!

And then what? Crash!

See, sometime or other in the middle of a sweet-centered evening — maybe just slightly queasy and with the beginnings of a headache — you’re going to have to stop stuffing your face with candy and go to bed. You go to sleep. And through the night your sky-high blood sugar levels start to naturally drop… and drop…

A sugar high lasts maybe a couple of hours after you start feeding it, so that’s what happens while you’re asleep. If you were awake, healthy li’l you might be able to fend off some of the nasty symptoms by jogging around the block, drinking water, eating crackers or such — but you can’t, because you’re asleep. By the time morning comes, your blood sugar level is at a real low. And frankly, you feel like crap.

What’s your immediate urge? Grab a quick easy sugary snack or a big glass of orange juice and crawl on back to bed to sleep it off.

See, sugar is sneaky. And powerful. Scientists have proven that it only takes 10 days for lab rats to get hopelessly addicted. Physically addicted to sugar! — and the poor little critters are probably psychologically addicted to sugar, too, for all we know, but no one ever asks the rodents how they feel…

But at least they don’t have to worry about zipping up their jeans after a week on the sugar high merry-go-round.

You eat a whack of sweet stuff. Your blood sugar levels skyrocket. You stop eating sweets, and a couple of hours later, you crash. Low blood sugar… you start craving sugar again! This is the point where, if you grab another handful of candy to satisfy that craving, that old blood sugar teeter-totter starts going madly up and down in the binge-and-crash cycle. And meanwhile, you’re grumpy and dopey and headachey and queasy and all the rest of the Seven Sugar-Addicted Dwarves, all the time.

And how do I know all this, you ask?
Experience, sweetheart. Sad, stupid — infinitely stupid — first-hand experience.

So I’m begging you now — put down that mini Hersey bar!
Step away from the Halloween leftovers!
Moderation is key: Your mother was right. Go have a decent bowl of oatmeal and a glass of milk, instead. Maybe, when you’re feeling a little better, a nice chicken Caesar salad — with just a small delicious perfect morsel of high-quality chocolate to savour slowly for dessert. Honest, you’ll feel better in the morning. And all your diabetic friends can stop laughing their asses off. And you’ll save a bundle on aspirin and Pepto-Bismal.

True, it can cost a lot to give candy to all the neighbourhood kids on Halloween night. But if money’s tight, and you simply haven’t got the budget to buy off the pranksters (some of whom really will splatter your home with rotten eggs — or worse — if you don’t “shell out” ), there are a couple of things you can do to save money.

First, here’s what not to do:

1. You could be really careful with the candy hand-out — giving each child one single lollipop, say. Stretch the budget by being kind of, well, stingy.

But don’t you recall what it’s like to be a little kid on Halloween? — the excitement (even before the sugar high kicks in) of staying up and going out after dark, running around the neighbourhood with your friends, actually taking candy from strangers!! Don’t go raining on that parade. It’s not easy being a little kid, you know. Give ‘em the candy.

2. You could turn off all the lights and pretend you’re not home.

This is totally NOT recommended, however, especially in some of the tougher neighbourhoods — and believe me, this is the voice of experience you hear! In fact, if you live in a really really really tough part of town (as I did for quite some time), you want to make sure you’ve got really really really good treats. And lots of them. You’ll also be wise to turn a blind eye if some of the kids turn their jackets inside out and come back a second time, pretending to be someone else, so they can get a second helping. These kids don’t get much sweetness in their lives… Shelling out on candy is much cheaper for you, in the long run, than shelling out to buy new glass for your windows.

3. You could stock up on off-brand mystery candy.

In fact, as I was ranting in the first part of this series, there’s a lot of wacky advice out there that tells you to “Save money on treats to hand out at the door by picking up cheap gum and chips at the dollar store.” Again, this is not such a good plan.

Think about this:

How come that Bargain Candy is so cheap?

The Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) issued consumer advisory, earlier this month, warning the public “not to consume, distribute, or sell the Sherwood Brands Pirate’s Gold Milk Chocolate Coins described below. This product is being recalled due to positive test results for melamine conducted by the CFIA.”

The affected product, Sherwood Brands Pirate’s Gold Milk Chocolate Coins, is sold in 840g containers containing 240 pieces per container bearing UPC 0 36077 11240 7 and lot code 1928S1… sold nationally through Costco stores and may also have been sold in bulk packages or as individual pieces at various dollar and bulk stores across Canada.

Just one example. (And those gold-foil-covered chocolate coins were my favourite thing, too!) Fact is, if the candy is cheap, the manufacturers have been cutting costs somewhere along the line, and that generally means moving production to countries with less strict health and labour codes, or buying their ingredients there at least.

So, is it worth saving a bit of money, to give children the kind of candy that you wouldn’t feel good about giving to your own child? Of course not.

Stay away from the discount candy and look for brand-name products made in a country whose environmental and health standards are a known quantity, I’d suggest. You may end up paying a bit more — but there are reasonable ways to cut your costs.

• Chewing gum, Chiclets, lollipops and suckers, or those tiny bags of potato chips are often the least-expensive treats on offer — but take along a calculator to the store (if you’re as bad at basic math as I am) and do the figuring-out, to be sure: Divide the price of a bag of treats by the number of kids you can serve with it, to get the cost per kid — see what treat choices will give the best bang for your buck.
• Check the flyers for specials, and buy larger-sized packages if it gets you a better deal — you can always tuck any leftovers into lunch bags, in the weeks after Halloween.
• Buy candy in bulk, if that’s the best bargain — but do buy from a reputable store and do choose only those candies that come already individually wrapped, preferably in sealed wrappers. No, it’s not great for the environment, all that extra waste packaging, but no sensible parent wants their child to be given a fistful of unwrapped candy from an unknown source.

And don’t put it off a moment longer, if you haven’t bought your Halloween treats yet! Last minute shopping, when the shelves are getting empty in the stores, is the surest way to end up spending more than you want to spend or you have in your budget.

Oh, and don’t eat all the candies yourself before the kids show up at the door. But that part goes without saying, right?

As for decorating your place for Halloween on the cheap —

Decorate your home and yard with everyday items and almost-trash, like leftover candle stubs and toilet-paper ghosts, the glossy magazines tell you. Right. Not.

What genius was the first to suggest that lighted candles and paper products could be a safe mix? Now throw in gangs of rambling trick-or-treating kids wearing capes and robes and all manner of flammable costumes? Uh-uh.

Not only that, it has been known to rain on October 31st… So what happens to your elegant glowing lights and drifting ghosts, if it rains? Soggy toilet paper draped over trees. In the dark. Not so chic and clever after all, is it? And you’ll just have to clean it all up the next day…

You can do better, even on a tight budget.

Tips for Frugal Halloween Decorations

Get yourself a pumpkin and make a traditional Jack-o-lantern. If you draw the face on your pumpkin with magic marker, instead of carving into it, you can cook it up later and make a pumpkin pie. How frugal is that?

If the kids want to know why you’re not investing in the latest inflatable three-witches yard art, or strings of flashing ghost lights, just tell them you’re doing your part for the environment. Ninety-nine percent of school-aged kids know more about saving energy than David Susuki does, and they dig it. Get them involved in thinking of other ways to decorate —

• Homemade orange-and-black paper chains looped across the porch railing?
• Watercolour paints to make scarey scenes on the windows?
• Construction paper cut-outs of spooky cats and haunted houses?
• An old white bedsheet pinned up in a shadowy corner of the yard, to spook all your little trick-or-treating visitors when it moves in the slightest breeze?
• …you get the idea.

And if you’re fixed on decorating with Halloween string lights around your home and garden, why not re-purpose the ones you use for Christmas and patio parties? This works especially well if you tend to go with plain white lights (very elegant) — and they’re low-energy, low-heat LED mini-lights, right? Add a few fake spiderwebs (and dangle a few pipe-cleaner spiders, if you’re feeling artsy-crafty)… you’re good to go.

Not quite enough festive Halloween decorating, yet, for your taste?

Decorate your front steps with an over-sized bouquet of dead branches (pick ‘em up when you rake the lawn) in a wide-mouthed container — I like an old stew kettle for this, but use what you’ve got — and tuck in a couple of mini gourds.

Or more of those pipe-cleaner spiders and artifical webs.
Or bits of orange and black ribbon, tied in bows.
Or a photo of your mother-in-law.

Whatever scares you.

Photo: Sylvanfeather

And here’s a bonus idea — you can save time and money, both, if you simply go with more general “seasonal” decorations, and simply add a touch of spooky Halloween goodness for the night itself.

Think of a wreath of colourful autumn leaves, or a harvest-themed display of gourds and pumpkins, or a decorative scarecrow.

Instead of having a box of special Halloween decorations that will be used for a week or so at most, you’ll decorate once — and the decorations will do you for Thanksgiving too!

“Feathers” — This Bag that Bites will be a natural fit to perch off of your shoulder! Faux fur that has the appearance of an olive-colored finch will create a buzz wherever you two will go. Warm golden hand-painted eyes keep this sweet bag soulful, while the fat purple tongue will make sure that you give the right message whenever you need.

The best feature?
The tongue has a zipper in it, to be your secret change purse!

Unique, handmade, and hungry Bags That Bite are the handmade creations of Justine Pallace. She’s actually a jeweller by training and trade, but finds both “satisfaction and fun” in making these cuddlesome monsters. Justine lives and crafts in Rochester, New York, but you can find her furry character handbags at BagsThatBite.etsy.com… if you dare!

H/T to WordVixen and her Hand Crafted Bags and Purses obsession for sharing this great furry find.

Photo: Mozo Man

We won’t embarrass any major media outlets by naming names, and I haven’t quoted the words exactly, but the substance of these “top 3″ frugal Halloween tips is spooned out by more than one source this season — and I’ve got serious doubts.

Here’s the kind of thing they want you to do:

1. Costume the kids as homeless people — it doesn’t get cheaper than that, when you can send them out around the neighbourhood in last year’s jacket and their oldest patched jeans;
2. Decorate your home and yard with everyday items and almost-trash, like leftover candle stubs and toilet-paper ghosts;
3. Save money on treats to hand out at the door by picking up cheap gum and chips at the dollar store.

Huh! Well, those tips just don’t work for me — and I’ll tell you why:

Poverty ain’t no Halloween costume.

“Costume the kids as homeless people”?

Well, leaving aside the fact that Junior might be scarred for life by wearing his own clothes as a Halloween costume… doesn’t it just seem wrong somehow to dress up as a homeless person in order to get free candy? Anyway, a big part of the whole point of dressing up and going door-to-door for treats is to amuse the neighbours. And they’ve seen your kids in grubbies already: so where’s the old folks’ treat in that?

Do it cheap, sure, but do it right.

One of the best things about Halloween is that it’s a night to let fantasy run free… So instead of money, why not spend a bit of creativity? Sometimes those quick homemade Halloween costumes can be the best costumes, if the ideas are good ones.

If you’re not the sewing-crafter type (or simply don’t have time), make a trip to the local Goodwill or Salvation Army thrift store, or whatever the equivalent is where you live. We’ve got a fabulous chain of super-cheap secondhand shops called Frenchy’s that are always good for a great cheap costume for kids or for adults. Jodi tells me she’s even seen secondhand wedding dresses in there for a ridiculously low price — so there you go, a Bride of Frankenstein costume! Just add a bouquet of dead flowers and the right make-up.

The school that @wadlington’s kids go to just held a Halloween used-costume sale. “After the sale,” she says, “the leftovers were donated to Goodwill. How great is that? It’s too late now to organize a costume sale for this Halloween, but I’ll bet you’d find a lot of parents keen on the plan for next year, if you brought it up at the next PTA meeting, while the pain and stress of finding (and paying for) Halloween costumes are still fresh in everyone’s minds!

Photo: juhansonin

You can always swap Halloween costumes with friends who have kids the same age, too. This year, your kid goes as an adorable mouse; next year, he moves up to the boy-next-door’s pirate costume?

We used to pass costumes along from older sister to younger, when we were growing up. The trick is to pack them away safely until next year. But you know what? If it’s one of those trendy character costumes straight from the Disney marketing machine, I wouldn’t bother trying to save it for next year — just throw it into the toy box and let the kids wear it to play make-believe to their hearts’ delight, because you might as well put it to use. What are the odds your daughter will have any interest in dressing up as Hannah Montana, by the time next year’s Halloween rolls around? Of course, my parents probably said that exact thing about that Princess Leia costume, way back when… So, who knows? You’ll have to make your own call on that one.

My point is, why dress up your kids as homeless people and make light of something so serious as other people’s misfortune? Especially when there are so many creative ways that you can save money on Halloween costumes.

‘Nuff said.

Now, what about that bad advice on decorating your home for Halloween? We’ll be tackling that tasteful and thrifty issue in the next part of this series, so stay tuned to learn more about toilet-paper ghosts.

My friend Paul, who cooks professionally at a local hotel, is always on the hunt for recipes that put a tasty twist on the traditional.

Last year, at Thanksgiving, he made an amazing pumpkin pie — we’ve been having a lot of fun trying to figure out how to make it even better, ever since.

What’s the result when two food-obsessed minds are put to work on one recipe?

A rich and delicious pumpkin pie for a special holiday dinner, that’s what!

Sour Cream Pumpkin Pie

Make (or buy) a single pie shell. Cook it as usual, and set it aside to cool while you prepare the pumpkin pie filling, as below:

Ingredients

1 ½ cups sour cream (sorry, but no — the low-fat kind won’t do!)
1 ½ cups cooked pumpkin (solid-pack canned, or homemade with liquid drained off)
3 eggs, separated into yolks and whites
1 cup dark brown sugar, packed
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp nutmeg (best if fresh-grated from a whole nutmeg)
¼ ground ginger (or a pinch more, if you like ginger as much as I do!)
¼ salt

Directions

Preheat oven to 375°F.

Gently heat 1 cup of the sour cream in the top of a double boiler, stirring occasionally.

Whisk together the pumpkin, egg yolks, brown sugar, spices, salt, and the remaining ½ cup of sour cream until it’s combined — then whisk it into the hot sour cream in your double boiler. Continue to cook over simmering water, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until the mixture thickens and reached 170°F. (Paul actually uses a thermometer for this step; but I just “ballpark it” at about 6 or 7 minutes of cooking time.)

Remove from heat and cool quickly — take the top of the double boiler (the pot with your pumpkin mixture in it) off the bottom pot of hot water and put it into a bowl of ice water for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Beat the egg whites in a clean glass bowl with an electric mixer, just until the point where they will hold soft peaks — don’t over do it!

Fold the beaten egg whites gently but thoroughly into the cooled pumpkin mixture. Pour the filling into the cooled pie shell, levelling out the top with a knife or spatula. Bake at 375°F about 40 or 50 minutes (this will depend on how much moisture was in your pumpkin, as that can vary) — until the filling is set, and just a bit puffed up around the edge of the pie.

You can serve this pie at room temperature — cool it on a rack for about 2 hours — or make it a day ahead and serve it chilled. If you’re going to keep it in the fridge overnight, do let it come to room temperature first, then cover the cooled pie with a piece of plastic wrap for storage.

Why pay big bucks for the same casual shoes you see in every park, schoolyard, gym, or dorm, when you can strut in custom kicks? And why toss out those tired old hightops, when they’ve still got good life left in them?

Give ‘em new life and express your creativity, with a custom design job!

If you can peel-and-stick, you can do Sneakart stickers. Or go for the full sheet patterns… there are about a kabillion designs to choose from, and you can mix and match to create the look of trendy (and expensive) hand-decorated sneakers.

Totally waterproof, these sneaker skins stand up to regular use for a couple of months — or you can peel them off and make a change, any time you like.

Is graphic design your gift?

You can even upload your own artwork to the Sneakart site, to make truly one-of-a-kind footwear stickers. But that’s not all — “Creative design deserves to be rewarded,” they say. So you can choose to keep your designs to yourself, or submit your art to the shop.

If it’s accepted for the design Gallery, each time someone buys your design to customize their shoes, Sneakart will credit your account with 10% of the sale price. You can cash out your royalties payments via Paypal or roll it over to get more Sneakart stuff for yourself.

Puma Sneaker Art Contest

And here’s a sneaker art contest that’s running right now, for another chance to make your artistic talents pay off — or at least to win a free pair of customized Baskets:

Sneakart is running a competition with in conjunction with PUMATALK to find the freshest new designs around. Design exactly what you want to see on a sneaker and then you can make it real with sneakskin. All good artwork will be accepted to the Sneakart library and will earn royalties on any sales made. The winner will be chosen by PUMATALK and sneakart and will receive a pair of baskets exclusively customized with sneakskin in their design.

Your custom sneaker design can be created with any software or hand drawn, as long as you use the templates provided. Check out the sneakart tutorial for more information.

Still, isn’t it just the most engaging piece of home hardware you’ve seen in ages?

So I’m thinking, why not use a maze chain to lock a cupboard door, and put the car keys there when you throw your next party. And if your cousin Johnny is one brew past figuring out the puzzle in, oh, 30 seconds — too bad, guess he can’t drive home!

My sister (a genius knitter) just sent me the tip on these, and I strongly suspect she was sending a hint for Christmas! Rocky-Brook wooden knitting needles are crafted by a family-owned company that’s located (more or less) in this neck of the woods, too — another reason to like ‘em!

Lightweight yet strong, the smooth wax-rubbed wooden knitting needles are naturally warm to the touch, which is said to make them ideal for knitters who are troubled by arthritis — or, I suggest, for those who just love the feel of smooth wood?

There’s no lacquer finish to wear away and cause rough spots that might snag your yarn. The finish on Rocky-Brook needles can be easily renewed just by rubbing them with a piece of waxed paper!

And did I mention, environmentally friendly?

Our needles are not only a pleasure to use but they are also one of the most environmentally friendly knitting products on the market. We are very proud to say we maintain less than a 4% waste factor during the crafting of our needles.

Oh, and if your compulsion to knit your way through the evening TV fare is driving your roommates to distraction, there’s another reason to consider the wooden needle.

They don’t make that incredibly annoying click-click click-click click-click sound that lots of metal and plastic knitting needles make — that sound that reminds me of the metronome that ticked away on the top of the piano, during those long long hours of childhood torture when I was forced to practice the minor scales…

But I digress.

We’re talking about a clever, original and relatively frugal gift idea here for the keen knitter in your life!

Think about it…

Package up a pair or foursome of lovely birch needles, say, with a skein or two of wool from one of the many fine indie spinners on Etsy, and perhaps a free knitting pattern from Tahki Stacy Charles that you’ve printed out on nice paper — and voila! You’ve got a unique gift on a knitting theme!

Rocky-Brook Needles come in straight or double-pointed styles, in fifteen different sizes, crafted in birch, walnut, cherry and maple woods by nice folks in rural Beechwood, New Brunswick, Canada. The website has a list of places that sell their needles, or you can contact Rocky-Brook directly for more information.

This beautiful 12-year-old Golden Retriever has just moved in. She needed to find a new home quickly — and I thought about it for all of, oh, maybe a nano-second, when asked if I had room for a second dog.

Casey the Wonder Hound (my long-suffering greyhound), fortunately seems to agree that Cinder (that’s her name) is the kind of gentle, calm, refined lady-dog with whom he can share his domestic arrangements.

He’s still in charge of the squeaky ball — in fact, of any dog toy that sounds like prey in its final death throes — but she is allowed to wander about with a knotted rope or a Kong in her mouth, dropping it at people’s feet. Oh, and Cinder is also responsible for making sure that large amounts of white-gold fur are properly distributed all over the house; greyhounds aren’t famous for doing much shedding. And both dogs are sloppy eaters, but not inclined to guard their spilled food.

So, really, it’s all working out quite nicely.

Want to see another picture of what might very well be the world’s most attractive geriatric Golden Retriever? Sure, you do!

All together now — Awwww!