“Want me to knit you a bacon scarf?” Diane asked, and unwittingly launched my search for arts and crafts with a bacon theme. She said she could probably “fake up” a pattern. Thinking back, I’m not entirely sure whether she planned to knit it from the actual fatty meat product. In which case, er, no…

But this Unsettlingly Real-Looking Felted Bacon Scarf in merino wool is both amusing and completely wearable — at least, in cool weather and possibly not around those of my vegan pals who tend to get queasy at the sight of meat.

By the way, if you just dropped in (hello there!) and you’re wondering what the heck all this pork-related nonsense is about, please do skip back to Virtual Collection: Bacon Bits – Part 1 for the explanation.

It’s as good an explanation as anyone’s likely to come up with… except maybe for Revison3′s Lil Internet Superstar:

But enough of that.
We’ve got loftier ambitions for our pork products!

Bacon in Art and Crafts

(I’m pretty sure that Bacon in Art is an actual Library of Congress catalog heading. Okay, maybe not, but I do remember filing something under Pigs in Art back in my summer-job-in-library days. And yes, it was filed correctly.)

Bacon, when raw, lends itself to weaving and shaping. Cook it and it holds its shape. What better craft material?

Instructables.com teaches you how to make your own fashion-forward bacon placemats, the inspiration for NotMartha.org’s famous bacon baskets and breadless BLT.

Or you can deconstruct your bacon for a home science experiment by making bacon soap (bacon-shaped soap molds not included), though the 2-week wait — to cure the added lye so it won’t burn your skin — may discourage all but the keenest of patient crafters from trying it.

Perhaps we’ll just admire the bacon artworks of others.

After all, even Salvador Dali thought that thin-sliced pork products were worth a place on canvas: one of his paintings was entitled Soft Self-Portrait with Fried Bacon, Basket of Bread… but then, of course, what else is to be expected of the surrealist who brought us melting clocks and Santiago el Grande?

The Bacon in Art torch is lifted high and carried on by the artists of Etsy.com, and here are a few of my current 2-dimensional favourites. (Click each little image to visit the artist’s Etsy shop and get more views and information.)

This is an 8″ x 10″ original acrylic painting… on panel. It was painted for the LA Weekly and appeared in their publication.

~ pamelajaeger

Ever see a cute little pig advertising for some BBQ joint? They don’t want to be there. Trust me.

~ waterbears

As an ‘artist/meatcutter’ I recognized the necessity for meat to be abstracted in order to be swallowed, therefore, it was natural for me to objectify meat and approach it with the same focus as my other still-life objects.

~ mgenomgeno

Title: yummy, sinful bacon, I love you

~ welcometothedoghouse

But the piece de resistance in Bacon Art is in the realm of sculpture:

John Ptak has the competition locked up, and the key was lost sometime back in World War II: that’s about when the fabled fat artist Fleiss created and prospered and wrote an astonishing pamphlet:

In the world of found book objects, few I think are as deeply removed and as deeply obscure as the work by Otto F. Fleiss called White Art in the Meat Food Business. A Practical Handbook for Butcher, Pork Stores, Restaurants, Hotels and Delicatessens on How to Make Lasting and Transferable White Art Decorations out of Bacon Fat Back for Window Displays, Ornaments on Meat Food Cold Buffets and for Exhibits and Advertising Purposes. Enrich yourself with Personal Knowledge.

It just kills me that the time is long past when an artisan could make his way in the world by crafting a perfect 200-pound cathedral entirely in white bacon fat.

Asian-inspired home decor is very hot right now, and you can’t go wrong starting out with simple lines, natural colors, and maybe a Shoji screen in the corner. But it’s the right artwork or accessory that can really set the mood for an Oriental theme.

Here are five of my favourite recent finds, in no particular order:

1. Kelly Shults kellyshults.etsy.com does the most tiny perfect mixed-media collages on heavy watercolor paper…
2. Also found at Etsy (infromawalk.etsy.com), sage-green and rusty-cream rice bowls, gorgeous simple shape, set of four…



3. Luscious pink brocade with a bamboo theme, imported from China, begs to become a throw pillow! Available at www.distinctivefabric.com/ along with similar fabric with a butterfly or dragon motif…



4. At www.chopa.com, beautiful music… from Zen meditation gongs to Feng Shui wind chimes to tiny Tibetan tingsha…



5. Lacquer ware — an antique japanned tray, a trinket box… I covet the Fret table (red or black) at www.suzanneallen.com/.

Practical and elegant, the Classic Diner dog food stations from QT Dog are made from hand-forged iron and powder-coated in a choice of durable finishes to suit Fido’s personal style: black, hammered silver, or the very trendy hammered copper.

Alternately, for those who prefer a less ornate design, there’s the Wrought Iron Dog Bone Diner from barker & meowsky on Amazon. It’s equally attractive, with those gently curved legs and a cute bone design on the front, and would look extra-great in either a mod-urban or a retro style kitchen.

Many dog owners prefer to give a dog his food and water in a raised bowl (and I’m one of them) because it may help to prevent bloat in those deep-chested dog breeds who are at higher risk of developing Gastric Dilatation-Volvulus (GDV).

So when a raised feeding station can improve a dog’s digestion and look pretty too… that’s just a bonus!a

Look no further than the Outward Hound line, if you want to keep your dog happy and comfortable on your summertime outdoor adventures — whether you’re camping in the bush or just enjoying the wilds of your own back yard.

I couldn’t do without the Port-a-Bowl, for instance, a vinyl-lined canvas bowl that crushes easily into a back pocket or knapsack, ready for use when my dogs get thirsty or ready for food. When it gets grungy, I just throw it into the washer with my jeans.

Friends who are serious hikers introduced me to Outward Hound — they swear by the doggie saddlebags, and their Lab is plenty big enough to carry his own supplies. Dog life jackets are available for the boating enthusiast, brilliantly designed fanny packs and bags, pet carriers of various sorts, and safety vests for the roadside walker’s dog.

In these hot summer days, however, I’m looking closely at several good ideas in the temperature-control line. Shade shelters, for example, are little screened tents like portable doghouses: cute and practical. There are also products they call Hydration Systems — a little water-filled backpack (the dog carries his own water supply!) with a special bite-valve for multiple uses — or the Bowl-and-Bottle bag, if you want to carry the water yourself.

My favourite hot-dog product, and the next thing on my shopping list, is Outward Bound’s Cooling Bandana, “a stylish way to keep your pet cool.” The bandana is filled with tiny non-toxic polymer beads that absorb up to 30 times their weight in cold water, and fastens around the dog’s neck with a Velcro fastener, to keep the dog cool for hours. I should have thought of this myself — I picked up the human version for myself about three years ago!

My friend Kyle emailed me today with the subject line “oh yeah, here’s a brilliant invention” — maybe just a touch of sarcasm there? He’d found the Brake-Fast dog food bowl on a website that lists weird new products, I guess, and thought it was hilarious.

But Kyle’s never owned a dog.

And if you’re a dog owner, and especially the owner of a large or giant breed with a deep narrow chest, — like Great Danes or Dobermans or Greyhounds or German Shepherds, etc. — you’ll know that a greedy big dog can be at real risk of Gastric Dilatation-Volvulus (GDV) or Bloat that can be fatal to your dog.

Well, this Brake-Fast dog food bowl is designed to help prevent that dangerous risk of bloat, by slowing down the speed at which your gobbling chow-hound can hoover up his dinner — he’s got to work around those built-in obstructions to get at his food.

It makes good sense — For years now, many knowledgeable dog-owners have been putting a couple of hefty rocks in their dog’s food bowls, or a length of heavy chain, to accomplish the same purpose. But that’s inconvenient and unattractive, and very very loud when Fido goes banging his dish about to clean up the last few morsels of dinner… unlike this pretty blue bowl.

As I told Kyle — far from being a joke-product to chuckle over in inter-office emails, I actually think this is a very sensible dog-food dish — and sure wish I’d come up with the idea for it first!