Full moon, clear skies, cold weather. Bitterly cold, like minus-25° Celcius bitterly cold (minus-38°C with the windchill)… far too cold for me to even think about trying to do the conversion to Fahrenheit for the benefit of our American friends.

Let’s just say it’s cold enough — if I may be so indelicate and unladylike (which I damn well may, because it’s that cold) — it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. So, naturally, I’ve spent the evening scoping the Interweb for a brass monkey — just to test the truth of the old adage. Lots of the cute and morally improving See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil monkey trio to be found… but none of them seem to be anatomically correct.

And then, and then, this!
Look, Ma — hat tip to our buddies at Weather Scoop — it’s a genuine Brass Monkey Freeze Indicator!

Made of gleaming solid brass, this monkey stands six inches tall and comes with the necessary physical equipment to test the winter weather.

How fast it works depends on how cold it is. If Part B is still attached to Part A, then the environment is probably not dangerously cold. But if Part B is detached from Part A then the environment is below 23 degrees Fahrenheit, which is cold enough to…

What, only 23°Fahrenheit?
Wait, that’s, umm, minus-5°C — a lovely spring day!
Well, make allowances: the brass monkey’s created in tropical Texas, not a tough Canadian primate at all.
(But I still want one.)

Only a soul that’s devoid of joy can fail to love a good sock monkey, or to smile at that goofy knitted-primate face and gangling limbs. More fun yet, when the sock monkey gets celebrity status!

This little guy, from the Sock Monkey Jungle of Lancashire, UK, channels Elton John at his most groovy, complete with over-sized sunglasses and a star-spangled red-striped outfit you wouldn’t have been caught dead in even in the depth of Disco Days. (The slouchy newsboy cap? Maybe.)

A self-described “sock monkey addict,” crafter Blue Saphire makes a wide range of unique sock monkey characters — from amusing rips of Batman, Rocky, and even Santa Claus — to girly-girl monkeys with fancy party frocks and long flowing hair. And I spotted a Bride and Groom couple, which seems to me just about the perfect wedding gift — way better than giving the newlyweds yet another waffle iron!

Gift certificates, sock monkey kits and patterns, even sock monkey notecards, as well as the cuddly critters themselves, can be found at bluesaphire.etsy.com.

Let’s blame a childhood of reading those Curious George books — who can resist a fresh clutch of giggly monkeys?

Clockwise from upper left:

• The Chimp is an archival quality print by Shannon Brady at BlueFlip Art (h/t emma).
• S-shaped monkey hooks, set of 3 in brushed stainless steel, are by Bodie and Fou, found in their kitchen section.
• Multi-imprinting, iron-on Monkey Love embroidery pattern, an 8½ x 11″ sheet with full instructions for getting started in embroidery, by Sublime Stitching.
• Crochet monkey toys, designed by ohsewpretty, appeared last fall in Crochet Today magazine.
• “Stackable, desktop, magnetically appendaged Bender Monkeys ” twist and bend to amuse any cubicle dweller. (They come in a set of four bright primary colours, packaged in a metallic embossed banana-shaped tin, with their own storybooks full of “illustrative poses” — where else, but at Think Geek?)
• Kay Bojesen’s teak monkey is a well-known wildlife mascot in Denmark — this one is found at Fitzsu.

I’d forgotten all about this until just now, but I had a very similar wooden monkey as a teenager. I remember how comforting and smooth it felt in my hands, and how it seemed to take on different facial expressions from sympathetic to cheeky to downright evil… Somewhere along the line, in one household move or another, my wooden monkey went missing… but maybe that explains this secret affinity for monkeys!

When I came across this handmade monkey pillow by LocoDiego, there was something about the colours and the funky little creature himself that immediately made me think of Tracy Porter’s fabulous Rhapsody monkey bowl. Wouldn’t that be a fun pair, all gypsy-bohemian and surprising, in an otherwise formal room?

Cross-stitch, like other traditional needlework arts, is absolutely huge as a home decor trend right now, of course… but now I’m starting to wonder… Are monkeys the new penguins? (I rather hope so, truth be told, because I’m totally over those ubiquitous tuxedo birds…)