Cartoon: Barbara Smaller

I love this cartoon:

One woman says to another, “My favorite part of being a stay-at-home mom is when they’re at school.”

Oh, c’mon, Mum, are you trying to tell us the thought never crossed your mind?

Not even once at the end of a long summer with three kids who don’t wanna do tennis lessons, Daddy away at work, and that new not-house-trained-yet puppy? (I was there, remember. Kids know these things!)

Originally published in The New Yorker October 14, 2002 — I think it should have hit the magazine in September, though — the cartoon’s shared here by kind permission.

Game Design: Exploring Creativity with Children

Monopoly Rules

I remember playing Monopoly with my dad.

He taught me many things about wheeling and dealing.

Whenever he purchased Boardwalk, he would ceremoniously place the card into his shirt pocket, symbolically telling me that I would NEVER get it. Mostly, I remember that he would nearly always win.

Yet, my fondest memories are of his creation of a game called Card Monopoly.

He made it with a deck of cards and two record album covers slit open and taped together. The rules were simple, requiring only a second deck of cards, two dice and a couple of tokens. We played quite a few games of Card Monopoly.

I remember thinking that my dad was a genius to be able to invent a game.

Zillions of Games

Dad went on to create many more games, including a computer word game! He instilled in me a love for making games. He also tempered my competitive nature.

Now, as a father, it’s my turn.

With five children, the fun is amplified. We have made up games as one group. We have made games for each other as Christmas presents. We have done solo efforts and used each other as play testers…

So, how did all this come about?

Come take a trip back in time, when the children were young and impressionable…

Inspiration

Where did our game ideas originate? It may be cliché to say that inspiration comes from everywhere but, for us, that was pretty close to the truth.

BEDTIME STORIES

The first games we ever made up were bedtime story adventures. I invented dungeons and forests through which the kids traveled as a team. Each child had opportunities to change the course of the story:

The bedtime stories were so much fun that we began playing them during the day. We would sit in the living room and spin wild, fanciful tales of treasure hunts, quests and spelunking (caves are great settings for game stories!)

EXISTING GAMES

My wife and I spent a lot of time choosing fun, family-oriented games that would appeal to most of us. While my older sons and I enjoyed competitive games, my wife, daughter and youngest son were more laid back. Sure, they would get into the spirit of the moment, but for them, it was not an all-consuming affair. It was rare to find the perfect game.

Our short-list included:

• Liar’s Dice
• Stacker
• Boom-o
• Boggle (no scoring)

When we created new games from existing games, we either changed the rules or we combined two or more games into one mega-game!

MASS MEDIA

PC games, fiction, sitcoms, cartoons and movies have all played a role in inspiring us. All five kids have collaborated on creating a town populated with television characters lovingly drawn on the backs of my old business cards. The town is on a poster board, complete with a mall. I have no clue about the game, but I hear constant laughter coming from their bedroom as they play-act their way through this adult-free world.

SCHOOL SUBJECTS

As Homeschoolers, whenever my wife an I introduced topics to our kids, we either supplemented them with computer games (Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, Zoombini’s Logical Adventure, etc.) or we created our own. One such creation was Chemistrivia. As you can imagine, it was designed to test knowledge of basic chemistry.

Guiding Theme

I think it is critical to recognize the elements that make a game fun for children.

Kids don’t always tell you how they feel, but it’s pretty easy to detect boredom and frustration. Getting trounced by big people is no fun for junior — although apparently, it’s okay for him to dance all over our vanquished ruins.

Having one daughter and four sons sitting around the table, I’m keenly aware of gender stereotypes.

Finally, I realize that sometimes, sibling rivalry intrudes on the game, making Sheldon, the oldest, disproportionately targeted for all the evil cards and whammies.

On a positive note, I have learned that Dominique displays the best lateral-thinking skills; Evan is the most analytical and enjoys numbers; Kayla — like her grandpop — drives a hard bargain and can be quite sneaky; Sheldon exploits all the loopholes in the rules; Ryan loves to play, as long as he can sit on mom’s lap and help her.

By minimizing or eliminating the potentially unattractive parts of games, we have a handle on the “fun bits.”

Going back to our sources of inspiration, I looked for ideas that either minimized competition to the most trivial level, or fostered team play. Here are just two examples of each theme ideal.

Trivial Pursuit of Happyness

Scrap Paper Game exemplifies trivial competition. By making the acquisition less important than the surrounding activity, we created a game that was fun for a six year-old as well as a fourteen year-old.

With nothing more than pencils and six pieces of scrap paper per player, we each drew one animal per scrap, assigned it a value from one to six, and wrote that value down. We also wrote down their natural habitat. We arbitrarily ranked the habitats (Ocean-dwellers were stronger than Desert animals).

Then, we simply played out each animal, one round at a time, with the “strongest” animal collecting the rest of the critters.

At the end of the game, whoever had the most points got to draw a new animal with even more points. The rest of us got to draw weaker animals to add to our collection.

Then, we’d start all over again!

The Civil Board Game

Gem City was all about cooperative play.

We had to mine precious gems for a despotic king and his high-maintenance queen, while keeping the city running as efficiently as possible.

Each player was elected to a government position and made proposals that only got enacted if the majority voted in favor of them. With civil positions having conflicting agendas, a lesson in petty politics awaited my unsuspecting children!

I went all out on the construction of the game board, using spray paint for the river, forest and desert, sandpaper strips for dirt roads, and duct tape wrapped around cardboard strips to represent paved roads.

We bought some beads from the dollar store and these became gold, rubies, sapphires and emeralds. We borrowed the figures from RISK®. These became various citizens in the King’s realm. Other, one-of-kind remnants were used as props. Railroad tracks, mines and warehouses all came from whatever was lying around the house.

Although I built the city, the kids helped define the rules of play.

A regular deck of cards controlled the actions during the game. If one of the four Queens was drawn, we got a holiday, but she got all of the sapphires! If one of the four Kings was drawn, we had to pay taxes. Other cards controlled the growth of the population, work production, and the number of guards at the mines. The game was over when all four Kings were drawn.

The heart of the game was managing the city.

Each child had his or her own idea of the best way to accomplish various objectives.

Teaching the kids the art of wheeling and dealing brought me full circle.

Now it’s their turn.

Mitchell Allen and his family own Morpho Designs, a website design company. Sheldon Allen owns GameDev Guru, an active recruiting site for game software developers.

Technorati Tags: games, children, creativity

While I’m off riding the Tilt-A-Whirl and eating candy apples on the midway at the Exhibition, my good friend Sharon Hurley Hall has kindly offered to share a piece of her practical parenting wisdom. Sharon manages to balance a busy freelance career with busy motherhood — and last time I checked, she still wasn’t locked up in a padded room — so you can see that the woman knows whereof she speaks! ~ Jen

How To Get Your Kids To Tidy Up Without Going Insane

Clean up your room – NOW!

If you don’t want to scream that at your kids every day then you need to make cleaning up fun. There are lots of ways that you can help your children to enjoy the tidying up process, restoring both your living space and your sanity. There are a couple of things you will need first, though.

Getting Arty

Consider getting some clear plastic bins for toy storage. These aren’t very exciting, so get your kids to help to decorate them with stickers, paint or whatever you dare to use. Decide what type of toy is going into each box and get your kids to draw a picture which represents those toys. Stick it onto the visible face of the box so that even when friends come to play, everyone will know where things go when it’s time to tidy up. Your kids will feel better about the process too, as they will be using something that they have created.

Scoring Points

If your house has enough space, consider combining tidying up with a throwing game (non breakable toys only, obviously). I did this the other day with my daughter and two friends. We took the box which holds her plastic blocks, placed it in the centre of the room and took turns throwing blocks into it to score points. We had a great time, and all the blocks were off the floor without me having to mention the words ‘clean up.’

Speed Thrills

Another option at clean up time is to make it into a competition. You’ve got all those toy containers to be filled. Use a kitchen timer to see how many toys the kids can get in the right box before the timer goes off. You can do this a few times before the thrill wears off. And you can offer an extra incentive such as a sticker as a prize for winning the overall competition.

Sharing The Chores

Children will clean up more readily if you help, too. I always ask my daughter which type of toy she will clean up and say which kind I will clean up. So if she offers to tidy away the dolls, then I might put away the play food. I don’t have to put it away quickly, but I do need to do enough so that she knows that I’m taking part.

Choose Your Time

There’s nothing like scheduling clean-up before a favourite television program to make sure that it’s done quickly. That system also works if you are planning an outing and want the room tidy before you leave. (Sneaky, isn’t it?)

Offer A Reward

We all need an incentive now and then, and kids are no exception. Offering a treat such as an extra 10 minutes of television, or a favourite activity the next day can help to sweeten the deal – and their mood. Best of all, it will help get things tidy before you need to scream.

Sharon Hurley Hall is a freelance writer and ghostwriter. Find more of Sharon’s creative writing on Sharon’s writing blog or check out her freelance mentoring blog, Get Paid To Write Online.

New parenting wisdom from my pal Sharon Hurley Hall:

Toddlers’ parties are notoriously noisy and messy — and someone always ends up in tears, possibly even a parent. This article gives tips on planning a successful preschooler’s party while avoiding the mess and hassle.

Don’t Try This At Home — Planning the Perfect Preschooler’s Party

by Sharon Hurley Hall

They’ve been there, done that — and now they want their own. Some time around the age of two your toddlers realise there’s a social whirl out there, and they want to be a part of it. The thought of 15 toddlers and preschoolers rampaging around the living room strikes terror into every parent’s heart. So why give yourself the hassle? Follow these tips to give your offspring a good time while keeping your furniture intact.

Don’t try this at home

The first step to having a successful party for preschoolers is to outsource. If money is no object, book a soft play centre. They often cater for children’s parties. The advantage is that there are lots of activities that children of all ages will love and all you have to do is turn up with a cake and candles. The centre will usually provide invitation cards and they’ll do all the cleaning up afterwards. If you are on a budget, however, there is another option.

Go to church

This is not about praying for strength or success, but about room hire. Many churches have rooms available for hire and they’re not usually in it for the money, so the rates can be quite reasonable. They’ll usually offer a slot that allows setup and cleanup time. If you can, choose a venue that already hosts a weekly playgroup and ask if you can have access to the toys. Most will agree, provided you’re prepared to chip in a bit to cover wear and tear. That will take care of most of the children’s entertainment.

Toy tips

If you have access to toys on site — or even if you’re bringing or borrowing some – you’ll need to choose carefully. Children over one like sit-in or ride-on cars, slides and play houses. Add a few dolls (with clothes if possible), strollers and a game involving cars, and you’ll have catered for most children. Try to have enough items so each toddler can have a toy. Young children rarely play cooperatively.

Timekeeping

Most parties for young children follow a set format, lasting about two hours. Stick to this plan; any longer and overexcitement will soon turn to tears and tantrums. The two hour slot breaks down like this: the first hour is dedicated to play; the next half hour to food; the next five minutes to birthday cake; the next 15 minutes to a party game; and the last 10 minutes to more play and goodbyes. Trust me, this works well.

Room layout

You’ll need to have a table near the door to put the presents as people come in. You should also have a table for any grownup refreshments. Place the children’s table in a corner well away from the play area, so you can set it up at the start. A tip is to put a cheap plastic tablecloth under the table, so that come cleanup time you can gather it up and throw it away, with all the bits of food and drink inside it.

Feeding frenzy

Remember that you’re catering for small people, so make sure all the food is small enough for them to handle themselves. Keep it simple: a choice of two types of sandwiches (tuna and cheese are fairly safe bets) and two types of drinks (blackcurrant and orange) is usually enough. Cut the sandwiches into four and remember to add some low fat mayonnaise to the filling so the sandwiches will stick together — it will cut down on the mess. Some children like fruit, so a bowl of mandarins or grapes is a useful addition.

It is a party, though, so you’ll need some treats. I recommend a few crisps and some fairy cakes. Don’t serve the birthday cake at the party. It will give the children a sugar rush and make them unmanageable. Instead, pop a slice into the party bag. A good trick is to have two identical cakes. You can cut one up the morning before the party and put pieces of cake into the pre-prepared party bags.

Activity time

Most activities at a children’s party involve music. Pass the parcel is a common game, but you’ll need to organise it properly. That means taking a CD player and some music to the venue and having a list of all the children at the party. While one person handles the music, the other can make sure that everyone gets at least one turn. When preparing the parcel, make sure that the main present is wrapped in a different paper so you’ll know when the game is ending and can prime someone to take a photo. Choose your wrapping paper for the other layers very carefully. Tissue paper looks good, but small fingers can easily tear through a couple of layers and toddlers won’t say no to an extra sweet. It’s best to alternate types of wrapping paper so the individual layers are distinctive. Remember to put a treat in between each layer.

Other good activities are musical statues, where the children can run around in a frenzy, then freeze when the music stops, and for older children who can handle being left out, musical chairs.

Leave them smiling

Give your guests a party bag when they leave, so they’ll have something to remember the party by. These should be prepared in advance. The perfect party bag will contain a piece of cake (of course); something noisy (a whistle or blower); an activity (something to colour or make); something useless but fun (like a finger puppet); and something educational but fun (a book or a card game). Something sweet (chocolate buttons or a small pack of sweets or some raisins) completes the lineup. Place the party bags in box near the exit so you remember to hand them out as people are leaving. Give each child a balloon and you won’t have to cart them all back home or pop them. And remember to have a bag and balloon for your own child — that will keep him or her occupied while you’re cleaning up at the end.

Cleanup time

You’ll need to take a few essentials for cleaning up at the end. A rubbish bag and some paper towels, some baby wipes (which you’ll probably have anyway) and a dustbuster. If you’ve hired a place where a playgroup takes place, they’ll probably have a mop and bucket somewhere handy, as you never can tell when there might be a major spill.

Follow these tips and both children and parents will go away happy. Best of all, you’ll be able to go home to your nice, clean house to open all the presents.

Sharon Hurley Hall is a freelance writer, ghostwriter and editor. Sharon worked in publishing for 18 years, writing articles and editing and designing books and magazines. For more information or to contact Sharon, visit sharonhh.com.

And if you like Sharon’s sensible advice on preschool parties as much as I do, check out her article on dining out with a toddler!

Here’s one of the more sensible lots of parenting advice I’ve seen for ages. And I’m not just saying that because it was written by a friend. Sharon Hurley Hall truly knows whereof she speaks — she’s well-experienced at dining out with a very young child, and also one of the more down-to-earth people I’ve ever met online. Enjoy!

Say No to Mealtime Mayhem:
Eating Out With Your Baby or Toddler

by Sharon Hurley Hall

Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children. Their short attention span and need to be involved in everything will mean a nightmare for you, they say. They’re wrong. We eat out regularly with our two year old and have a wonderful time. Here are a few tips to make sure that you can do it too.

First of all, make sure you choose a family-friendly restaurant. Look out for easily accessible (and clean) high chairs, a willingness to warm milk, free bibs and baby food (available at some rest stops and motorway service stations) and entertainment for your child in the form of crayons and paper or a soft play area.

In case none of this is available, you need to take your entertainment with you. Crayons and paper, an etch-a-sketch or other drawing board toy and a couple of books are often enough to distract your child from any thoughts of mayhem.

Choose your time carefully. Ideally, you should arrive half an hour or so before your child’s regular mealtime, so that their food arrives on time. And don’t even think about going out when your child is already tired – you’ll be setting yourself up for the evening from hell.

Children are bad at waiting, so you’ll need a food backup in case your order is late. Pack a box of raisins or snack bar. Although you’re not supposed to take food from outside into eating establishments, if you politely explain that the alternative is a screaming child, they’ll definitely turn a blind eye.

When placing your order, ask for your child’s meal to be delivered first. That way, you can do any cutting up that’s required and start the feeding process early and you’ll be free to focus on your own meal when it arrives.

Make dining out interesting for your child. Talk about what you’re going to order; point out what waiters and waitresses are doing; take a tour of the salad bar; discuss whatever’s on the walls. Your child will be pleased to be included and won’t even think about having a meltdown.

Once you’ve finished your main meal, ask for your bill at the same time as dessert. You’ll want to make a quick getaway once you’ve demolished a sweet treat, because by then your little darling will be running out of patience.

We’ve been taking our daughter into restaurants before she could sit up. At first she was in a car seat, then a high chair, and now she can sit on a big chair (she’s very proud of that!) She can order her own food (with please and thank you) and talk about what’s happening. Don’t think she’s a paragon of virtue, because she’s not – she’s a very spirited two year old. But she enjoys eating out and generally behaves well enough for us to stay in the restaurant for an hour and a half or more. Since the parenting books claim that half an hour is pushing it, we don’t think that’s half bad. Why don’t you try it, too?

Sharon Hurley Hall is a freelance writer, ghostwriter and editor. Sharon worked in publishing for 18 years, writing articles and editing and designing books and magazines. She has also lectured on journalism. For more information or to contact Sharon, visit sharonhh.com/