Okay, you remember my mildly snarky remarks about the oddly named (and oddly scented) fabric refresher I was playing with last month?

I take it all back — or, well, no, not that.
But I do give a hearty two thumbs up to another item of the same family.

Febreze To Go is a purse-sized (or car glove compartment sized) spritzer of extra-strength Febreze that has no particular fragrance — and no scent at all after a minute or two — but works like a little miracle potion.

Better living through chemistry!

Ideal for when an old dog passes gas in an enclosed space.

Or when your sneakers become just too offensive.

Or when you are about to walk into a meeting and realize that a strong whiff of fried onions still hangs about your jacket from lunchtime…

Conveniently totable, and it works.
Thanks, guys.

A little quick word-association for you… I’ll name a scent.
What images come to your mind?

Vanilla

fresh, sweet, warm, cheesecake, breeze-dried cotton pillowcases, candles, summer evenings?
 

Lavender

flowery, herbal, guest soaps you’re not allowed to use, antique shops, gardens, grandmother’s linen closet?
 

Comfort

huh?

Exactly!

And that’s why I’ve got a little bone to pick with the marketing whiz who named the new line of fabric refresher sprays from Febreze. C’mon, now — “Vanilla Lavender & Comfort” scent? Puh-leeze!

Since when is comfort a fragrance?

Now, don’t get me wrong here — I’m not dissing Febreze, not by a long shot. I live with at least one dog at any given time, and put in a lot of quality mop-and-scooper time down at our local kennels. I love to cook with garlic, and it’s an article of faith around here that you can’t have too many onions…. So I know about odours, and I’m telling you now, Febreze is a total genius product at whisking bad smells away before your company comes.

But what’s with this Comfort foolishness?

Okay, I know what comfort smells like to me — if comfort is going to have a fragrance. For me, it’s a lot to do with citrus peels and fresh-baked bread and rich old leather and cinnamon, with just a hint of sea air… none of which appear to have been considered in the creation of “Vanilla Lavender & Comfort” Febreze.

I’m still trying to figure out what the spray does smell like, exactly.

It’s pleasant enough — which is great because, dear knows, the fabric refresher and air freshener industry has put out some real doozies in their time! — and vanilla and lavender are indeed discernible in it. But there’s something else there…

Hmm, reminds me of a hint of baby spit-up and warm milk, mixed in there with the florals. It reminds HWHTPT of “old lady’s parlour” (And wouldn’t you have loved to sit in on the focus group that gave this product a big thumbs-up?)

Now, while the nice people at Febreze kick themselves for sending me a sample to review, poor dears, let’s have a cosy talk about scent memories… What does comfort smell like to you?

“More bacon insanity!” crows a recent note from the gadget-loving DJ.

Typically man-like, he claims to be pining for a Wake ‘n’ Bacon alarm clock.

Never mind a blaring buzzer in your sleepy ear, or even the questionably less-jarring sounds of morning radio, this wake-up call will cook your breakfast as it wafts you to wakefulness with the nose-tingling scent of bacon.

And for our vegetarian friends (or for dieters who try to limit the fat-laden temptations that begin the day), Jay Garrett has pointed out an Alfie Lake design that might fit the bill.

This concept for an alarm clock would let you pick which fragrance you’d like it to emit, and set a timer. Fall asleep to the sweet scent of lavendar, for example, and wake to home-baked bread. Sadly, it’s all cartridge-based; actual flowers and baked goods not included.