Want to dine like a high-born Brit?  Eating Royally: Recipes and Remembrances from a Palace Kitchen is my latest cookbook crush: a beautifully produced, full-colour hardcover by Darren McGrady, one-time personal chef to the households of HM Queen Elizabeth II and HRH Princess Diana. 

More than 100 recipes, along with personal photographs and touching memories of his years with the royal family make McGrady’s book both a highly readable memoir and (perhaps surprisingly) a source of the kind of time-tested family meals we’d actually cook for our own families.

The Royal Chef

Trained at the swank Savoy in London, McGrady’s tenor in the Royal Kitchens began at Buckingham Palace in  1982, serving as personal chef to the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh, and traveling with the royal family to Windsor Castle, Sandringham House,Balmoral Castle, and around the world on the Royal Yacht Britannia. (I suppose even the nobility are vulnerable to shipboard buffets, on a cruise?)

In 1993, he moved to Kensington Palace to become private chef to the Princess of Wales, where he was in charge of  the daily food preparation for Princess Diana, Prince William and Prince Harry, as well as catering luncheons and dinners for their many distinguished guests.  That idyll lasted four years – until 1997, when the lovely and sad Diana (easily the most photographed woman and one of the highest profile celebrities in the world at the time) died in a tragic car crash, pursued by the paparazzi. 

McGrady has cooked for no less than five US Presidents in his notable career, and now lives in the United States.

Kate and William’s Wedding Cake

If there’s a wedding in your plans, it might be fun to put Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding cake on the menu.  The now-famous Chocolate Biscuit Cake – the groom’s cake for the royal wedding – is  just one of the fabulous recipes included in this cookbook (page 31). 

No, really – think about it!

You’d have not just a royally special cake to serve for a life-changing occasion, but a dessert that would get even your crowd-shy guests chatting together at the reception, sharing memories of the 1980s, of the glamorous Princess Diana, and of the significance of all those special recipes that are passed down from generation to generation within our own families.

Royal Recipes… with a Story

Some of the collected recipes in Eating Royally were “comfort food” to various members of the royal family, while other recipes are more the fancy fare served to guests or on holidays and other festive occasions.  Some of my own favourites:

• Eggs Drumkilbo – Lobsters and shrimp meet eggs and vine-ripened tomatoes in this favourite dish of the late Queen Mother; it was also served at the 1973 wedding breakfast of Princess Anne and Captain Mark Phillips.
• Christmas Pudding – I mention this now, as the “prep time is 3 months to 2 years”: the generous aging time is to give the dark beer, dark rum, brandy and other rich flavours in this traditional recipe time to develop  and mellow.
• Coffee Mousse – It’s made with chocolate-covered coffee beans!
• Crepes Islandaise – The Duke of Edinburgh was served crepes with heavy whipped cream and seedless raspberry jam on a state visit to Iceland; he liked the dish so much that he asked for the recipe.
• Goujons of Salmon with Tyrolienne Sauce – Regular readers will know I’m a mad fan of salmon (a taste I share with Prince Andrew, it seems), but you can make this with almost any kind of fish that takes well to being breaded. The garnish is interesting – fried fresh parsley!

But even more interesting, I think, are The Royal Chef’s notes and stories of life with the Windsors, and particularly of “The Royal Year” in which they moved from residence to residence, and the menus changed with the seasons.  To be sure, Chef McGrady had me turning pages quite avidly from the start of Eating Royally, where, opposite to an autographed “to Darren with love” photo of a blue-jeaned Princess Diana, he tells of landing his plum gig in the Royal Kitchens – can’t you just imagine the damp palms and rapid heartbeat, as he went for that job interview?!

Who doesn’t love a good visual pun? And these gaudy big faux-diamond napkin rings are just too much fun.

This set of four metal-and-glass napkin rings is £6.95 at the DotComGiftShop.com.

For a wedding? Seriously?

Most of the crystal or rhinestone rings designed as napkin holders are intended for tabletop decor at an engagement party, rehearsal dinner or  wedding reception — can you imagine? — so you’ll most often find the napkin rings listed under Wedding Supplies, most places.

I’m not sure I’d go there, myself — unless the wedding theme is something like My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (let’s not go there either, please: a little respect for the travellers?) — but fake diamonds splashing the table decor for a bachelorette party dinner? Absolutely!

I did spot similar “diamond” napkin rings a while back at Bed Bath & Beyond about 4 or 5 years ago, but their version was just a little too, er, understated and scaled-down to carry the same note of whimsy — but there’s a surprising selection from various merchants on Amazon.com. No idea what kind of quality you’ll get with any of these, of course, but we can assume that we’re not talking Shrek-sized jewellery for real…

Trying to make the fake look real is never a winner, which is one good reason to play bold (as shown here) or just fold your napkins. Faux works best when it’s frankly over the top!

“White wedding” took on a whole new meaning for me, a couple of years ago.

I’m reminded of this by the convergence of three things: another wedding in the family this summer, the pending conversion of yet another neighbourhood dairy farm into a subdivision, and the playful reincarnation of the iconic Got Milk? campaign.

(Bear with me — this will all start to make sense in a minute!)

So, as I’ve hinted, we’ve just celebrated another wedding in the extended family — and those of you who’ve been there can well understand the potential for both magic and disaster. So many details to coordinate with military precision! Everything must be perfect… Such high expectations, and such high stress!

Well, our most recent family wedding breezed through on the magical side, I’m thrilled to report.

But in this story I’m about to tell you of another wedding, a few years back… not so much.

Let’s not even speak of the soloist’s hiccups, the drunken photographer, or the brutal heat wave that turned the wedding reception into a sauna and the expensive ice sculpture into a melting lopsided phallus that soaked the buffet table linens.

No, we’ll pass over those minor points.

Because the element of the unexpected that came closest to causing a Total Bridal Meltdown was the adorable flowergirl. Six years old, angelic in pink satin, with blond ringlets cascading from a wreath of tiny rosebuds, tiny patent leather shoes…

Angelic? Give that child one piece of candy too many (and no, it wasn’t me who did that!) and she turned into hyperactive devilspawn:

Poking her finger through her Granny’s antique silk lampshades. Hog-tying the cat with ribbon stripped from the wedding gifts she’d decided to open. And drawing big blue daisies on the train of the wedding gown — minutes before zero hour — with a leaky ballpoint pen.

Yep, that’s what I said.

While the bride was sitting about in her lacey underthings, under the hairdresser’s care, and the limousine was pulling into the curb, and the father of the bride was pacing the front hallway with his watch in his hand — the flowergirl drew big blue flowers on the pristine white field of the wedding gown.

With a ballpoint pen.

See, this is the point where the milk comes in — and a tip from the calm and practical wife of that same dairy farmer whose fields, sadly, have just been sold off for building lots (because that’s what happens to far too many family farms, these days: but don’t get me started!) –

Milk removed the ink stain.

Soak in milk, rinse in cool water. Soak and rinse, soak and rinse, until the spot comes clean. Then a quick bit of work with the hairdresser’s blow drier — and the gown was once more whiter than the bride’s conscience… er, white enough to walk down the aisle!

Yes, it’s true. Milk can take out many kinds of ink from almost any fabric that you can get wet without worry. Whole milk works best, by the way. Mind you, there’s nothing I’ve found yet that will get out ink from permanent markers (which is probably why they call them “permanent,” d’ya think?), but for your basic flowergirl graffiti with a regular ballpoint pen? Magic!

And perhaps best not to talk about what happened to the unwisely artistic flowergirl, when her mother took her upstairs to have a little chat…

The key point is, a glass of milk saved the wedding day.

Now, the people over at Got Milk?, keen folks though they may be, won’t be bragging up the stain-removal properties of milk. They can (and will, at the drop of a hat) tell you all about the other benefits of milk — healthy hair, stronger nails, better sleep, and all that lovely PMS-fighting calcium, and so on — but they won’t tell you that milk gets out many kinds of ink stains.

My theory: it’s probably because milk’s not registered as a laundry product, and there isn’t the “scientific evidence” to back up any big ink-cleaning claims. Fair enough. But I can tell you — I was there; I was the one who wrestled the Satanic pen-wielding flowergirl to the ground; and I saw the milk do its magic with my very own eyes.

Got wedding? Got kid?
You might want to pick up a quart of milk.
Just sayin’.

Okay, girls, let’s talk about Wedding Favours: those little gifts for your guests that also serve to decorate the tables at your reception. I beg you right now, forget all about those tacky little plastic cups filled with after-dinner mints and wrapped in tulle. Really? No one is impressed with that originality. And no one over the age of 5 will eat the candy… You can do much better, for quite a low cost.

Ta-dah!

When my own beloved soon-to-be-niece asked about personalized flower seed packets as a wedding favour / guest gift, I went looking for a simple-yet-elegant version in her chosen wedding-theme colours (celadon green, with many shades of white).

This 3″ x 3″ favour is a combination of two pieces of paper — your chosen colour and a translucent piece with your personal wedding details printed on it — with box-folded corners to keep the seed packet safe inside.

I always worry about getting stuck with a soppy pre-printed message on personalized items, but here again we’re in luck! The message inside is smply this:

Thank you for sharing this special day. Please plant these seeds to create a garden of lasting memories.

You get to choose from a bunch of different flower seed types, and complete growing instructions are included. Some assembly is required, but heck, what are all those bridesmaids for?

The price is $1.55 each if you’re ordering 100 or more, $1.65 for 50+ pieces, and so on; available at Plant A Memory.

Wedding traditions are no longer as rigid as they once were, and engaged couples feel more free to express their own values and preferences, no matter what the wedding etiquette books say.

Still, a certain amount of tradition is important to many of us — and to our families! — so the environmentally conscious bride-to-be can face a challenge.

How do you plan an earth-friendly wedding… that still has enough of those lavish traditions to satisfy your Inner Princess Bride?

1. Think lasting.

Avoid the use of disposable products and items that will be used for one time only — disposables are wasteful use of our resources, and eventually will end up in the landfill.

2. Think local.

Long-distance transportation of goods is a huge energy expenditure that also contributes to pollution and global warming.

3. Think lean.

What parts of the traditional wedding are most important to you?

If your most precious wedding daydreams include flowery pew markers, go for it… but is your heart really set on an imported orchid, or a single perfect rosebud that owes its unblemished bloom to heavy pesticide use?

Focus on those wedding symbols that truly do lend meaning to your union.

Take the Long View

You’re entering into marriage for the long term, right? But we’re on this earth for the long term, too. Fortunately, the two things don’t have to be incompatible — yes, you can have the Big Day of those girlhood dreams and honour the environment, too.

Pop a New Question

It comes down to asking yourself the kind of questions you may not find in a traditional wedding planning chart:

• Which is less wasteful and more original — a fountain of chocolate splashing on the buffet table, or individual dark chocolate shot glasses with an after-dinner liqueur?

• Does this caterer offer a menu based around locally grown foods, fresh in season? Organic? Vegetarian?

• Could you have your wedding invitations printed on recycled paper?

Chances are, with the fine quality of paper they’re making from post-consumer fibre nowadays, you’d love the results. Look for Green Seal Certified paper, made using green energy sources. And why not ask your guests to RSVP with a postcard (save an envelope!)?

• How badly do you want your bridesmaids to wear hideous gowns that they’ll want to burn right after the ceremony?

A better choice for the environment would be a simple classic style of gown — one that doesn’t scream “I was a bridesmaid, yo” so it can be worn to other fancy functions in the months ahead. (And your bridesmaids would thank you, too!)

Challenge your Aunt Millie

Yes, we do love our wedding traditions… the big poofy dress, the whole big poofy day… and yes, you may get a bit of grief from Aunt Millie if you break with the tiniest of rituals. But what the heck, it’s your day — so, go ahead, challenge tradition!

Just ask yourself where your strongest priorities lie and do it up right, so the Biig Day is as special as you want it to be. Then, simply drop the wasteful extras that you’ll never miss, and you’ve already gone a long way towards a greener wedding!

After all, how many helium-filled balloons does it take, for a bride to feel that she is really truly married?

Have you ever noticed how a summer outdoor wedding has a 97.6% chance of being on the hottest day of the year?

Anna Bella to the rescue, with Paper Garden Paddle Fans to keep guests cool and comfortable during the ceremony.

Each fan is custom designed, matching your unique wedding colors and style – incorporate patterns, unlimited colors, monograms — sky is the limit!Use as favors, menus, wedding programs or even place cards.

Meanwhile, the bride is free to concentrate on the tender business of exchanging vows… fairly confident that her beloved’s Great-Aunt Fanny isn’t creating a scene behind them, fidgeting with her pantyhose and secretly dropping ice cubes down her cleavage.

Once I bought a terry cloth robe (at Lasenza, I think) and it came with a little mirror in a color-coordinated organza bag, tucked into the breast pocket. Nice touch! And ever since, I’ve had a bit of a passion for those shimmery little drawstring bags.

If I had a craft business — jewellery, or salves and soaps, something small and pretty like that — I’d be inclined to present my product in organza.

Nothing looks any more special, like you cared about the presentation (and yet, didn’t have to go to a lot of bother!) — for wedding favors, for perking up your dinner-party place-settings, or just for wrapping small gifts and treasures.

Pouch Depot has the small plain bags starting at 22 cents each — what a bargoon! — and lots of colors. I also spotted a line of the pouches trimmed with fluffy maribou feathers, all retro-Hollywood frivolity! …And for other occasions, maybe the soft velveteen bags in rich luxe colors… or what about some little peek-a-boo bags of mesh, like fishnet stockings! We’re getting some ideas now, aren’t we?