Usually, my dental hygienist and I have conversations that sound like a couple of pals getting together in a coffee shop to chat. But yesterday, our conversation sounded more like a poorly scripted television commercial from the 1970s or ’80s.
Usually, we talk about dogs and crafts and fitness, or whatever music’s being piped in to the dental office in the half-hour I’m there, or she tells me about the fall-out when her in-laws gave her 16-year-old a brand new car without consultation, that kind of thing…
Yesterday — wonder of wonders — we actually talked about clean teeth and healthy gums. Dental health, in fact — go figure!
Do you remember those TV ads where the uber-annoying Madge kept sticking her ditzy friend’s hand in a bowl of dishwashing liquid, while disclaiming about its virtues? A fly on the wall (not that there was one, but if there was — and if it could understand English — do flies even have ears?) would have heard something like this:
Me: You probably won’t have much cleaning to do this time.
She [with one dubious eyebrow raised]: Why’s that?
Me: I’ve been trying out an electric toothbrush for the past month, and my teeth seem pretty clean to me…
She: What kind of electric toothbrush are you using? Is it the Oral-B Vitality? We usually keep some of those around here, for sale.
Me: Actually, I’ve been testing two different Oral-B toothbrushes. One’s the Vitality with a ProWhite head. The other one’s that super-dooper Triumph brush that does everything but pour the mouthwash for you…
[Dental hygienist nods knowingly]
Me: …the one with the wireless unit to monitor your brushing time and tells you when to move on to another quadrant, makes a smiley face when you brush your teeth properly?
[Dental hygienist nods knowingly]
Me: It’s got two different brush heads with it — ProWhite and Floss Action — they sound like dorky superheroes, don’t they? And different brushing modes for polishing and sensitive teeth and like that, base station, recharger that works in different countries with different power systems for when you travel, and a travel case, too… The flippin’ toothbrush has a bigger instruction manual than the one that came with my blender!
She: You do have a thing for gadgets, don’t you?
Me: Um, yeah…
She: My husband, too. He would probably be more fussy about brushing if he had one of those… but he just went out and bought himself a new phone, so he’s going to have to wait until Father’s Day to get a Triumph.
Me [mumbling because the dental hygienist has her hands in my mouth, poking about the molars with a pointy metal thing]: Mhmmphh.
She: You know, your teeth really are pretty clean — I really don’t have too much work to do here. Actually, I think we can skip your next appointment, if you’re going to keep using a power toothbrush.
Me: Mmm-hm-hmm-huh!
She: What’s that?
Me: I just saved 75 bucks!
She: Yeah, you can’t go wrong with Oral-B. Did you know that they’re the only ones who have that patented thing where the head of the brush oscillates and pulses, both at the same time? It oscillates and pulses! [I swear, those were her exact words -- told you, our conversation sounded a whole lot like a vintage TV ad!] And the small head on the brush makes it easier to get in there and do a good job on your back teeth, like this spot right here… see?
Me: Mhmm-hee!
She: Rechargeable, right?
Me: Mhmm. Yes, both of them.
She: What do you think about the vibration? Some people find it feels weird.
Me: The Vitality’s just got a nice little hum, kind of nice. But the Triumph has, I don’t know, the vibration is stronger or deeper or something…
She: Too much?
Me: No, not bad… but you wouldn’t want to use it with a wicked hangover.
She: Just a guess, but if someone’s that hungover, their dental hygiene may not be right at the top of their list, right at that moment. Coffee, more likely. Lots of coffee!
Me: At least they’d be able to get the coffee stains off their teeth. You know, later, when they felt up to it…
I’m pretty sure we’ll be back to the normal frivolous non-product-oriented chit-chat, next time I’m hanging with the dental hygienist — but here’s the bit that’s vitally important here, in case you glazed over and missed it:
I just saved $75 — being able to skip my next appointment for a professional cleaning, with the dental hygienist’s blessing — because the power toothbrushes do a better job of cleaning teeth than the old-faithful manual units that I grew up with.
Yes — like you — I laughed myself silly at the super-dooper Triumph when I first read about it — and rolled my eyes at the hefty price tag, too! (The suggested retail price is $179.99 — yikes! — but you can do much better if you shop around: Amazon has about the best prices I’ve seen, around US$107.)
Love gadgets as I do… honestly, I thought it was a case of Oral-B going mad with the microchips and accessories, trying to find a new-and-improved product that no one really needs all that badly. It seems that I may have been a tad hasty in that opinion, however… because it’s really quite something.
On a budget, however, or for those whose very souls revolt at the idea of over-the-top technological wizardry in the bathroom cabinet, the modestly priced and lightweight Oral-B Vitality Pro-White is the winner. It runs about $25 in stores in Canada; I’m not sure if this exact model of Vitality is available in the US yet, but I think you might be able to fake it quite nicely with the Precision Clean model and just sub in the Pro-White replacement heads for that spiffy tooth-polishing effect. For my money, it’s effective, efficient, and not too self-indulgent a personal-care tool for this thrifty gal to face down in the mirror each morning.
In short, Triumph rocks for sheer macho gadgety-goodness, and I’m irresistably attracted to that for some reason; but the low-key Vitality was simply electric love at first brush.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
for less than two bucks, a box of baking soda (which can be combined with regular tooth paste) has saved my TEETH and GUMS not just my money … Dentists are in BUSINESS … toothbrush and toothpaste companies are in BUSINESS … your oral health is a means to their PROFIT … their products and services will only be marginally effective because they need you to come back and give them more money so they can buy big cars and houses and golf memberships … duh !
Baking soda is indeed a wonderful thing. So is not having to go to the periodontist.